I wonder, when do I have to drop this pretending.
Every time, every year, every moment, I just don't feel like I'm real.

There seems to be a fake me covering the inner me. I don't know why but I can't seem to trust people who failed me time and time again. & "fate" keeps bringing us to work together, I have no choice.

The act of pretending, been there for so many years in my life, and mind you I'm only 17.
Probably half my life wasn't real, that's like so sad. And you don't know how much I dislike doing projects, PW was one whole bad experience with that pretending for a whole year.
I think that was overflowing my limit already and now you tell me I have to continue this fate about working together?

 Oh heavens, why are you doing this to me, torn between friendship and working efficiency. Friends as we seem,but friends we may not really be.

But nonetheless, I have to move on.
On a side note, I'm moving on to JC2!
With horrible results of course, so all the more the competitiveness is burning inside me, it's like some genes activated of some sort.

 I wonder how long after would I be back here to give another rant, but when I'm not here, it doesn't mean life is all well.
Hitting rock bottom and barely scraping through sounds good, but not when you know next year is another big rollercoaster ride with twists and turns.
As I wish for the better, life is just so unpredictable.

I just wanna say, brave the waters, endure the fire, and just
MOVE ON.

Trying to keep the inner flame alive, Jingyi.