I thought I understood what friendship was, and then I was proven wrong.
It was close to the extent of cyberbullying with people colluding against you when they themselves have more serious wrongdoings than me.

Maybe I should have made things clear right from the start, and maybe all this harsh words would not have emerged and intensified, causing more hurt to myself and probably those irresponsible fellows.

I wouldn't say that it was poorly organised, but they lack responsiblity and they are last minute claiming responsibility. Well, how does this work?

I raged, I voiced out my intentions with probably the longest and the most intensified tone you could ever get from me. Not that I wanted to, but at that point in time, when you're all alone to face people who do not even place basic trust or acceptance in my replies, I don't think things would be better if I kept quiet anyways. Maybe the friendship would have been torn, but I don't know what should I do to mend this broken relations, cause whatever I say, whatever I give in, its still pointed back right at me with 20 fingers.

And I'm going ahead with this. Cause when I said I was willing to keep myself absent to stop straining this relations, they said I was UNWILLING to go and if thats what I wanted then its up to me. Everything I say, gets rebutted and I'm making myself look like some fool who is claiming all the blame for whatever they teamed up to say.

Maybe this is just a surge of anger, but trust me when I say I've never meant to spoil this relations.
After I said all those words via whatsapp, tears just rolled down. It never stopped. Their response was getting more and more direct and eventually I had swollen eyes even as I laid in my bed last night.

Probably I wasn't too understanding in their shoes, probably they found me a hindrance, probably I shouldn't have compromised.

This is already the essence of the whole saga. There were many interesting excerpts that led to this explosion but I guess there's no point repeating all this saddening stuff all over again.

Non mihi solum, not for myself alone.
Sorry but I don't see this happening right now.
Perhaps I should be back in the place where I am unique and worthy, worthy of people's trust and worthy of being a friend.

有沒有那麼一滴眼淚 能洗掉後悔
化成大雨降落在 回不去的街
再給我一次機會 將故事改寫
還欠了他一生的 一句抱歉

有沒有那麼一個世界 永遠不天黑
星星太陽萬物都 聽我的指揮
月亮不忙著圓缺 春天不走遠
樹梢緊緊擁抱著樹葉 有誰能聽見

Hopefully, everything returns to normal tonight.
Jingyi.